....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
