Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
