Having a random hookup so left but love u
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they're like a gay fantastic four
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
