So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
