I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
