Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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