Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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