Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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