I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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