Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
