We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
