Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
