no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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