By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
