my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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