for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
