You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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