Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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