Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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