after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
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She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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