so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
