I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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