This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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