nut hugger
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
