I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
