Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
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