They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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