You're completely useless in the revolution.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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