She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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