Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
