The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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