she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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