i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
