you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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