More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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