So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
