and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
