haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
