Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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