i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
