I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
