i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
