i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
