break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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