only if we run a train.
done.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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