Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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