he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
