I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
