There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
