Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
my liver is dry heaving
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
