why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
