He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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