ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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