I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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