addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
