East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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