"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
