Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
