I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
