So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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