So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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