TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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