my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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