yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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