Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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