Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
one might say we're banned from that church
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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