i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
