Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
